I thought of using one of my poems to test out my (old) blog, but when I skimmed through my journal, I realized that most of what I wrote (at that time) was not worth reading if not completely garbage, but the quotes I had been collecting seemed pretty interesting. So I listed some of the funniest ones, and since then I haven’t felt like removing this post.

Found these in my Journal. Chuckle off!

Albert Einstein:

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age of eighteen.

Robert Benchley:

Drawing upon my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Mark Twain:

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

Abraham Lincoln:

No man has good enough memory to be a successful liar.

Jim Carey:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Eddie Cantor:

It takes years to become an overnight success.

Mae West:

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Elbert Hubbard:

Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.

Isaac Asimov:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Theodore Roosevelt:

If you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you would not sit for a month.

Murray Gell-Mann:

Think how hard physics would be if particles could think.

Albert Einstein:

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

Of course there are many funny things people would or would not have said (but were wrongly attributed) - these are just the ones I came across.